an honest post

I desperately wish the baby next door would stop crying. She is about a year old, and screams and cries intermittently throughout the day on most days. Whenever she starts to cry, my blood curdles and I get so so afraid of what B. and I may be in for. Is this what it will be like for us?

does this mean I am a bad person? Does this mean I will be a bad mother?

I have three and a half months to go and every day I am more excited - and more terrified.

Any advice or perspective?