six months later.

Today, I worked on getting a 'before and after' photo of rosebud. I really should have done it yesterday for maximum effectiveness, however it's close enough for me! There is one photo of rosie that just kills me. I've posted it before, but I'll post it again. many times. It's because rosebud it in her carseat, having just arrived home from the hospital. what a little bean she was! now, six months later, she is huge and lovely and the same baby yet so, so different.

SUNDAY 7" - HALLOWEEN EDITION

okay, because what halloween compilation WOULDN'T include the monster mash?

and what's a more halloween-y band than the misfits? here is one of the creepiest love songs ever told. i happen to love it.

HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY, BUD!

oh my goodness gracious.
has it really been so long, my love?

Rosebud Elizabeth Pearl is 6 months old today.

She crawls! she talks! she loves my butternut squash soup and avocado, and she feeds herself like a champ!

she becomes most excited when there is an animal around, but will make do with petting the fur on my moccasins, if no pets are to be seen. oh my funny child. We played peek-a-boo for the first time today and she just laughed and laughed.

everyday is an adventure; everyday i watch her learning and i am bewildered by life, by the human mind, by the capacity of my own heart to love.

and now, pictures.

because the lasts never last

today was the first time i *really* caught rosie crawling. and it was wonderful. and we also went grocery shopping, and i didn't have to carry her in a wrap or push her in the stroller, because she can sit up in the shopping cart all by herself now. I was so proud. and i did take the time to think, to remember those long lost days when she couldn't hold up her own head. the same head that now turns every which way, the whole world to see. most parents know how quickly these moments pass and how unbelievable it is to see our little tiny babies turn into full blown people before our eyes. we celebrate the firsts, but really, how often do we think about the lasts?
just today, somebody opened my eyes to this wonderful Huffington Post article. I know I post touching little articles just about once a week, BUT REALLY THIS TIME! MY HEART! I feel like I have rashes on my cheeks from crying so many tears at this article! I feel like every parent should read it once a month (or so, i know we're all busy) just to make sure that we don't forget to remember all those special little moments. i only hope i can/will.
my rosebud, i love you.
and here she is, kind of crawling, kind of laughing, and totally lighting up my life. thank you, little darling.

muffin-top

TODAY, DUE TO A LACK OF BETTER OPTIONS, I TRIED ON A PAIR OF PRE-PREGNANCY JEANS AND... THEY FIT!

TEETHING

At almost six months, rosebud doesn't have any teeth yet, but i'm thinking that look of anguish (not to mention her general fussiness today) means something! watch it go on for another month before we get a tooth.
come on rosie, you can do it!

7" SUNDAY - I LOVE YOU WILSON PICKETT

yes, I am fully aware that it's monday. but i'm sick and forgetful and i couldn't wait until next week because, why would i?
today is dedicated to wilson pickett because i love him and so does rosie in her little jolly jumper.


BONUS SONG!
because it's hilarious and reminds me of my brother.

little love letter

dear rosebud, sometimes you stay up late and i'm tired or sick or i need a shower and the kitchen is a mess and i just can't wait for you to go to sleep.
but when you do, i miss you.
love, mom.

DAY OF THE GIRL

today is day of the girl, so think about this.

mom tears

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE I'VE READ IN AWHILE.

and I read a lot of articles.

I cried. did you?

feel good moment of the day

The feel good, weep inducing moment of the day is brought to you by disney. I was surprised to find this video on Bitch Media's website today, especially knowing how conflicted most feminists are about disney princesses. but it's pretty good!

SEVEN INCH SUNDAYS

this is a new little section of my blog. I've had the idea for awhile (actually, i got it from courtney) and B. just reminded me to get it started by playing DJ with his own personal record collection. He's making a mix-tape for his car! anyway, this is called SEVEN INCH SUNDAY. so obviously, only two songs per post. or four if i'm really excited.

today, two of my favourite sixties rockers, yeow! also a little trip down memory lane, back to our old party days on the lively streets of montreal.



THE SEEDS - CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE YOU MINE

this song is a lazy warm afternoon at the beginning of the summer, beside an open window, sharing a beer and a cigarette with your best friend. it just is.



THE SONICS - HAVE LOVE, WILL TRAVEL

this song is one last dance in a dusky, underground bar before running for the last metro home because, shit, i'm opening the restaurant tommorrow morning and i should have been home an our ago!

hope you like!

oh, also: would you believe me if I said this photo is NOT POSED? she just picked up that record all on her own.

i am a hypocrite

*Why I Stopped Trying to Make My Daughter be Pretty*

if i dream of a world where my daughter will not be objectified, a world where she is valued for her intelligence and kindness rather than for her appearance, why oh why do i wish and hope and pray on my knees for her to be pretty? beautiful, even?

maybe because i know what this world is like, and wouldn't want her to deal with everything that comes with being labelled 'ugly'; maybe because i'm a product of my environment, and i am just another person who values women for their physical attractiveness over their other virtues, or maybe I am just a hypocrite.

thoughts?

on co-sleeping

the world of motherhood is as confusing as it is exciting. there is so much information out there and a lot of it is conflicting and most of it is general guidelines. but every family has a different needs, no?

so: co-sleeping. we did it at first. my mom was kind of horrified by the idea but i liked what i read and even if i hadn't read anything about co-sleeping, once i had that teeny tiny baby in my arms i couldn't even imagine putting her little body in a big scary crib to sleep, so she slept with us.

the first week or two she only slept on me. i was exhausted and nursing A LOT (as tends to be the norm with newborns) so i would nurse her in a sitting up/semi-reclined position and just fall asleep holding her. boy oh boy, was my back ever sore! but it worked for us! i wasn't worried about dropping her or rolling over onto her because, well, i just wasn't. and sure enough, every time i woke up, there she would be in my arms and everything would be hunky-dory. (aside from, you know, being in pain, always. and exhausted. and crying through feedings because it hurt *so much*.) it should also be noted that we had an *arm's reach co-sleeper* all set up, but it's main purpose at this point was holding spare blankeys and (cloth!) diapers.

after about four weeks i (finally) got a hang of the ol' side-lying nursing position, and it changed my life. for real. I COULD SLEEP AGAIN. and sleep i did, with my little rosebud nestled into me. when she needed to feed, she just did!!! i wouldn't even wake up all the time, which was glorious. a feeding every few hours was no longer a painful and torturous endeavour. at this point i pretty much figured everybody who didn't co-sleep must be insane. i was still waking up often, but not having to move made it okay.

sometime between two months and three months postpartum, i began to feel, well, healed, and b. and i were feeling the need for a little bit more intimacy, and that's when that co-sleeper REALLY came in handy. i would transfer rosie over after nursing her to sleep and that would allow us to sleep as we normally would without her little body right there, but she still *was* right there, which was the beauty of it all. she would inevitably wake up at some point during the night and end up back in bed with us, but hey, you take what you can get, right? and we loved her little baby snuggles all the more.

fast-forward to about two or three weeks ago. i read that if you don't get your babe out of your bed by six months, they often don't make the transition until two or three years. i was a little worried. was i ready for that much of a co-sleeping commitment? worried as i was, i wasn't really strongly considering making a change. Then B. says, why don' we just try her out in her crib, just as an experiment? we'll just see how it goes.

verdict? it was no big thing. I think it was harder on me than it was on her. rosebud sleeps super well in her crib. she usually goes down between 930 and 1030 and wakes up anytime between 6-8. i feel we are still inherently connected. I used to have to set 3 alarm clocks when i was working he morning shift because i would sleep through not one, but two alarms. now, i just kind of jolt awake and then sneak into her room to find her smiling and playing in her crib in the morning light. it's adorable! and validating! and then, guess what? i take her back into bed with me and we snuggle for another couple or few hours, she nurses, i kiss her little head, B. dotes on her, we all share smiles and we get a couple more z's in while we can. and it's AWESOME.

am i taking sides in the bedding debate? AU CONTRAIRE! if there is (and there is) a moral to this exceedingly long and boring to anybody but me story, it's that you should just follow your instincts. they're usually pretty okay.

i wanted to be a co-sleeping mom. and i was. and guess what, i still think i am, because those morning time hours are precious and priceless, and rosie seems content and thriving, so we must be doing okay! sometimes experience, personal, lived-in experience means more than anything you read or hear.

the end.

motion-312

and for today's bonus post, MOTION-312 WAS DEFEATED IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS TODAY! which is a huge victory for the reproductive rights of women in canada. thank god!

FIVE FREAKING MONTHS

rosebud is five months old. she can almost crawl but sometimes gets frustrated when she realized she's just not quite there yet. she rolls from back to front and front to back but sometimes just forgets how to go from front to back and gets frustrated then, too. nothing scooping her up and giving her a cuddle doesn't fix, though.

our room-mate recently got a dog and she just loves animals, especially his dog, dingo. almost every time dingo comes near she breathes heavily from excitement and giggles as dingo sniffs at her. dingo can stop her from fussing by entering the room. she loves the kitty, too, but the kitty is a little less stoked on her, so they haven't really bonded yet the way dingo and rosie have.

she loves lots of kisses, especially on her hand and her chubby little tummy.

she still loves music and dances, often in time to the music, when in her jolly jumper.

and her smile could brighten the darkest of days.

oh, and today me and auntie hannah fed her BEETS! I know you are supposed to wait until 6 months, but she is showing a lot of interest so i have been giving her tastes. she held the spoon herself and lunged forward, gobbling down all that beety goodness.

and then there are those days when rosebud doesn't nap and is a bit of a fuss pot all day long. I don't want to complain because, by the sounds of it, rosie is a pretty laid-back, low maintenance baby, but i still have those days where all i can think to say is: ALRIGHT, I'M DOING MY BEST HERE, OKAY!?

so here's to some of the best and most challenging days of my life. i love you, little bud.

growing pains

today we went to visit our dear dear friends, just three days after the birth of their little guy, clarence. (they came to see us in the hospital when rosie was just one day old, immediately after they found out they were having a boy!) The minute we got in the door i burst into tears. happy tears for them, because i was so happy to see this of this perfect little being and the way they were transitioning from a couple to a family. I know that feeling! it's a good (if overwhelming) feeling!

but also tears of sadness, because meeting little clarence made me realize HOW BIG ROSEBUD IS! she is SO BIG! through my tears I looked at b. and said, "see, i told you she's not little anymore!"

and so, despite it being one of the happiest of occasions, my heart broke just a little bit today.

clarence with his daddy and rosebud with me!

that awkward moment...

that awkward moment you find yourself rubbing your belly (as you did when you were with child) and not only are you no longer pregnant, but your baby is almost five months old!

not i'm going to watch armageddon, because that's what i do when B. is out of town!

5 songs to sing to a baby

something about "blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever" just resonated with me. what can i say, with a baby girl named roseud, OF COUSE floral imagery speaks to me! plus *the sound of music* is one of my all time favourite movies.

i love these canadian female folk heroes and this song reminds me of our pregnant tour days. and on days where i'm feeling cabin fever-ish it reminds me how sweet life is with the ones you love. "i don't want to leave you, i love you through and through"

because some miracle brought her love to me. and i LOVE sam cooke.

the beatles at their best! Rosebud LOVES jolly jumping to this one!

i know three out of the four of these ladies and they are awesome. this song is about a love interest but who knows, you COULD sing it to your baby too. right?

gorgeous