Sunday, September 30, 2012


this is a new little section of my blog. I've had the idea for awhile (actually, i got it from courtney) and B. just reminded me to get it started by playing DJ with his own personal record collection. He's making a mix-tape for his car! anyway, this is called SEVEN INCH SUNDAY. so obviously, only two songs per post. or four if i'm really excited.

today, two of my favourite sixties rockers, yeow! also a little trip down memory lane, back to our old party days on the lively streets of montreal.


this song is a lazy warm afternoon at the beginning of the summer, beside an open window, sharing a beer and a cigarette with your best friend. it just is.


this song is one last dance in a dusky, underground bar before running for the last metro home because, shit, i'm opening the restaurant tommorrow morning and i should have been home an our ago!

hope you like!

oh, also: would you believe me if I said this photo is NOT POSED? she just picked up that record all on her own.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

i am a hypocrite

*Why I Stopped Trying to Make My Daughter be Pretty*

if i dream of a world where my daughter will not be objectified, a world where she is valued for her intelligence and kindness rather than for her appearance, why oh why do i wish and hope and pray on my knees for her to be pretty? beautiful, even?

maybe because i know what this world is like, and wouldn't want her to deal with everything that comes with being labelled 'ugly'; maybe because i'm a product of my environment, and i am just another person who values women for their physical attractiveness over their other virtues, or maybe I am just a hypocrite.


Thursday, September 27, 2012

on co-sleeping

the world of motherhood is as confusing as it is exciting. there is so much information out there and a lot of it is conflicting and most of it is general guidelines. but every family has a different needs, no?

so: co-sleeping. we did it at first. my mom was kind of horrified by the idea but i liked what i read and even if i hadn't read anything about co-sleeping, once i had that teeny tiny baby in my arms i couldn't even imagine putting her little body in a big scary crib to sleep, so she slept with us.

the first week or two she only slept on me. i was exhausted and nursing A LOT (as tends to be the norm with newborns) so i would nurse her in a sitting up/semi-reclined position and just fall asleep holding her. boy oh boy, was my back ever sore! but it worked for us! i wasn't worried about dropping her or rolling over onto her because, well, i just wasn't. and sure enough, every time i woke up, there she would be in my arms and everything would be hunky-dory. (aside from, you know, being in pain, always. and exhausted. and crying through feedings because it hurt *so much*.) it should also be noted that we had an *arm's reach co-sleeper* all set up, but it's main purpose at this point was holding spare blankeys and (cloth!) diapers.

after about four weeks i (finally) got a hang of the ol' side-lying nursing position, and it changed my life. for real. I COULD SLEEP AGAIN. and sleep i did, with my little rosebud nestled into me. when she needed to feed, she just did!!! i wouldn't even wake up all the time, which was glorious. a feeding every few hours was no longer a painful and torturous endeavour. at this point i pretty much figured everybody who didn't co-sleep must be insane. i was still waking up often, but not having to move made it okay.

sometime between two months and three months postpartum, i began to feel, well, healed, and b. and i were feeling the need for a little bit more intimacy, and that's when that co-sleeper REALLY came in handy. i would transfer rosie over after nursing her to sleep and that would allow us to sleep as we normally would without her little body right there, but she still *was* right there, which was the beauty of it all. she would inevitably wake up at some point during the night and end up back in bed with us, but hey, you take what you can get, right? and we loved her little baby snuggles all the more.

fast-forward to about two or three weeks ago. i read that if you don't get your babe out of your bed by six months, they often don't make the transition until two or three years. i was a little worried. was i ready for that much of a co-sleeping commitment? worried as i was, i wasn't really strongly considering making a change. Then B. says, why don' we just try her out in her crib, just as an experiment? we'll just see how it goes.

verdict? it was no big thing. I think it was harder on me than it was on her. rosebud sleeps super well in her crib. she usually goes down between 930 and 1030 and wakes up anytime between 6-8. i feel we are still inherently connected. I used to have to set 3 alarm clocks when i was working he morning shift because i would sleep through not one, but two alarms. now, i just kind of jolt awake and then sneak into her room to find her smiling and playing in her crib in the morning light. it's adorable! and validating! and then, guess what? i take her back into bed with me and we snuggle for another couple or few hours, she nurses, i kiss her little head, B. dotes on her, we all share smiles and we get a couple more z's in while we can. and it's AWESOME.

am i taking sides in the bedding debate? AU CONTRAIRE! if there is (and there is) a moral to this exceedingly long and boring to anybody but me story, it's that you should just follow your instincts. they're usually pretty okay.

i wanted to be a co-sleeping mom. and i was. and guess what, i still think i am, because those morning time hours are precious and priceless, and rosie seems content and thriving, so we must be doing okay! sometimes experience, personal, lived-in experience means more than anything you read or hear.

the end.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


and for today's bonus post, MOTION-312 WAS DEFEATED IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS TODAY! which is a huge victory for the reproductive rights of women in canada. thank god!


rosebud is five months old. she can almost crawl but sometimes gets frustrated when she realized she's just not quite there yet. she rolls from back to front and front to back but sometimes just forgets how to go from front to back and gets frustrated then, too. nothing scooping her up and giving her a cuddle doesn't fix, though.

our room-mate recently got a dog and she just loves animals, especially his dog, dingo. almost every time dingo comes near she breathes heavily from excitement and giggles as dingo sniffs at her. dingo can stop her from fussing by entering the room. she loves the kitty, too, but the kitty is a little less stoked on her, so they haven't really bonded yet the way dingo and rosie have.

she loves lots of kisses, especially on her hand and her chubby little tummy.

she still loves music and dances, often in time to the music, when in her jolly jumper.

and her smile could brighten the darkest of days.

oh, and today me and auntie hannah fed her BEETS! I know you are supposed to wait until 6 months, but she is showing a lot of interest so i have been giving her tastes. she held the spoon herself and lunged forward, gobbling down all that beety goodness.

and then there are those days when rosebud doesn't nap and is a bit of a fuss pot all day long. I don't want to complain because, by the sounds of it, rosie is a pretty laid-back, low maintenance baby, but i still have those days where all i can think to say is: ALRIGHT, I'M DOING MY BEST HERE, OKAY!?

so here's to some of the best and most challenging days of my life. i love you, little bud.

Monday, September 24, 2012

growing pains

today we went to visit our dear dear friends, just three days after the birth of their little guy, clarence. (they came to see us in the hospital when rosie was just one day old, immediately after they found out they were having a boy!) The minute we got in the door i burst into tears. happy tears for them, because i was so happy to see this of this perfect little being and the way they were transitioning from a couple to a family. I know that feeling! it's a good (if overwhelming) feeling!

but also tears of sadness, because meeting little clarence made me realize HOW BIG ROSEBUD IS! she is SO BIG! through my tears I looked at b. and said, "see, i told you she's not little anymore!"

and so, despite it being one of the happiest of occasions, my heart broke just a little bit today.

clarence with his daddy and rosebud with me!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

that awkward moment...

that awkward moment you find yourself rubbing your belly (as you did when you were with child) and not only are you no longer pregnant, but your baby is almost five months old!

not i'm going to watch armageddon, because that's what i do when B. is out of town!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

5 songs to sing to a baby

something about "blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever" just resonated with me. what can i say, with a baby girl named roseud, OF COUSE floral imagery speaks to me! plus *the sound of music* is one of my all time favourite movies.

i love these canadian female folk heroes and this song reminds me of our pregnant tour days. and on days where i'm feeling cabin fever-ish it reminds me how sweet life is with the ones you love. "i don't want to leave you, i love you through and through"

because some miracle brought her love to me. and i LOVE sam cooke.

the beatles at their best! Rosebud LOVES jolly jumping to this one!

i know three out of the four of these ladies and they are awesome. this song is about a love interest but who knows, you COULD sing it to your baby too. right?

Saturday, September 15, 2012


have you ever had a baby so darling and so dear, with such wonderfully long eyelashes, that you just wish you could put mascara on them just once *just to see how they would look*?

i do. wonder, i mean. every day.

but you know, mascara is probably pretty harmful, especially for little baby eyes, and besides, the idea of putting mascara on a little baby girl is pretty unsettling, no?

PS. My camera is pretty decrepit, so this is about the best picture you'll see of rosie's eyelashes. it does them no justice.

PPS. it is raining tonight and it sounds wonderful.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

rosebud at 4.5 months

rosie. oh, rosie

i missed rosie's 4 month birthday. i was away visiting my family on vancouver island and, well, they live far away and i'll be damned if i was going to spend that time on the computer.

i wasn't. i was going to spend it with my loyal, caring mother, my quirky, beloved father and my vibrant original partner in crime, my brother.

but for the sake of posterity, here is rosebud at four-and-a-half months!
rosebud, my sweet chubbalub, the twinkle of my eye, my get up and go and my star of the show.
four months was a big milestone! you rolled over a week or so before your four month-day and once you hit that special day, we couldn't put you down without rolling over... and getting stuck! you are so determined, my little bean. and every day you amaze and bewilder us with your communication! you are so so interactive and just love having our attention. one of us will do, but two is better, right bud? Now you're really REALLY rolling all over the place! you can practically sit up by yourself! i cry when i think about how big and grown up you are!
you can stop now, okay?

all good natured and looking like her daddy. sigh.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

i really DON'T want to miss a thing!

I usually tell only close, non-judgey freinds this, but here i go telling the world.

my favourite movie OF ALL TIME is *armageddon*. I cry EVERY TIME!
for one thing, i just love cheesy action movies. the other thing, though, is that i was a bit of a daddy's girl growing up.

My dad was in the military when i was a kid and, although he was an air force man, he worked on the helicopters that were on naval ships for a long time and use to go away A LOT. we always got by alright but i was just a little kid and some days i would wonder if m daddy would ever come back. something about the scene with liv tyler and bruce wllis saying their final goodbyes on the screen really gets me going. as in bawling. i've seen the movie countless times and i'm seriously talking every. single. time. embarassing, i know. i also happen to find ben affleck mega dreamy. i don't care what you think.

thing is, i remember people saying that it was a touch creepy that liv tyler's own father, steve tyler sings the love theme for the film (and she appears in the aerosmith video.) i never really found it creepy. my attitude always was, you get a gig, you do the gig. ever a musician's wife, i guess.

then b's brother's wedding happened. and *i don't want to miss a thing* came on. it was one of the few moments at the wedding reception that i was actually holding rosie. let's just say she is one popular baby. i though nothing of it and started slow dancing with her, when my epiphany hit. for one thing, there is certainly a romance between liv tyler and ben affleck in *armageddon*, but really it's a sub-plot. the real story revolves around the complicated yet loving relationship between liv tyler and her on screen dad, bruce willis. the other thing is, *i don't want to miss a thing* is NOT a romantic love song, but a love song from a parent to a child. i was hearing it through new ears. and tears were streaming down my face. rosie's dress was soaked. all sorts of extended family members were most likely giving me confused looks. rosebud was feigning indifference. i was oblivious.
and that's how *I don't want to miss a thing* became our song.