Tuesday, May 29, 2012
two nights ago i was laying in bed with my rosebud, trying to get her to go to sleep and then suddenly, I just got up and walked away. she wasn't asleep yet, but I had to pee and wanted to to talk to the boys (Blake and our roommate Joey), so I did. After a few minutes, i still hadn't heard a peep from our little seedling, so I didn't check on her quite yet. A few more minutes passed and still the only sound that came from the bedroom was silence. Finally, after about 15 minutes I went in to see if what i had supposed was in fact correct. It was: she was asleep! I was so proud of her! Just a day old and she had already fallen asleep all by herself. Tonight, I tried it again. i was getting ready to lie down with her to nurse her to sleep but when I put her down she didn't fuss or grunt, she just looked around with sleepy, peaceful eyes and blinked slowly, so I walked away. Ten minutes later she was stirring, but only the way she normally stirs in the beginning of sleep stages. Another ten minutes and she was out for good. Go Rosie! I don't expect every night to be this easy, but knowing that she can make that transition from calm drowsiness into dreamland on her own gives me surges of pride and gives me the feeling that we must be doing SOMETHING right. It also reminds me that already, at only one month old, she is an independent being, a human in her own right, and although she needs my nourishment and my comforting touch she is in this world to conquer it on her own. The pride I feel is strong and unmistakable, but the bittersweet knowledge that one day she won't really need me at all is palpable, too. I love you, rosie.