goodbye little buddy

Blake's parents left yesterday morning after being in town all week. We all had a great time but it was a bit of a whirlwind of activity.

Thursday afternoon, the in-laws took rosie and I to Canadian tire where we picked up some things for the house. I also finally picked up a collar with a bell on it for our one-year-old kitty, JJ, who has been known to kill a bird or two in his time. On Friday evening I started to get really worried because I hadn't seen JJ yet and I was looking forward to putting on his new collar. the weather was great so i pushed my worries aside and told myself he was probably just exploring the neighbourhood. I wish this had been true.

When we woke up on Saturday morning, Blake's parents complained of a bad smell in the air and my heart stopped. Blake found our JJ right away, curled up in our front yard, under the stairs leading to the apartments above ours... he was gone.

my heart is broken. I feel awful because he was such a good little kitty, but since rosebud was born I haven't been showering him with the love her deserved. I wish that we had looked for him sooner and that we could have somehow helped him, even though I know we probably couldn't have. Blake says he thinks he was hit by a car and it seems as though his injuries would have killed him pretty much right away. I just hope he wasn't in much pain and that in his final moments he knew that he was a good boy and loved by his family.

We had JJ for less than a year, but he was a special part of our family. When we adopted him, he had been save from the streets by the mother of a friend. She was looking for a home for him because she couldn't keep him, and when I saw the picture of him she had posted to facebook I knew he had to be mine; his colouring matched that of my childhood kitty Shadow, who passed away last year. JJ started out skittish and shy. The first week he lived with us he spent hiding under the frame of our futon. We nurtured him with love and he became confident but always had a sweet curiosity that made him a pleasure to be around. During much of my pregnancy I was lethargic and miserable, but JJ was always there for me and his love and companionship soothed me through those rough days. He was my baby before my real baby came.

goodbye my sweet JJ, mommy still loves you and always will.